In the most surreal diplomatic pitch of 2026, spoon-bending psychic Uri Geller, 79, has offered Donald Trump his football-pitch-sized Scottish island, Lamb Island, as the perfect alternative to annexing Greenland. The rocky outcrop — home to hundreds of puffins and bought by Geller for £30,000 in 2009 — is now declared a “mystically protected” micronation with its own anthem and football team.
Tiny Puffin-Infested Rock
Geller insists Lamb makes a better U.S. military base than Greenland: “Dock your navy here, and if China attacks, I’ll rescue you with supernatural powers!” He hints at mind-blowing secrets in Greenland but swears his tiny basalt rock is the real deal. Trump has yet to RSVP.
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