President Trump, with his majestic mane, declared war on wimpy showers, vowing to “make America’s showers great again!” Fed up with dribbling nozzles that take ages to wet his “beautiful” hair, he’s ordered the energy secretary to ditch Obama’s stingy multi-nozzle water rules. “Fifteen minutes to rinse? Ridiculous!” he fumed, signing the order with a flourish. The White House calls it liberation from green-tinted tyranny, freeing folks from “weak and worthless” showerheads. Conservationists groaned, but Trump’s undaunted, dreaming of torrential cascades. In 30 days, expect show ers so powerful, they might just wash away bureaucracy itself!

Contents